The Theres

Here is a fact about the "Theres":
there is always one here or one over there;
but they're quite amusing, really,
as a matter of fact.
In fact, just yesterday,
we paused to chat as
I sat over there
(in a quite fancy chair),
while they sat in theirs.

Oh, they're quite the pair.
They are, after all, the Theres!

The Night before my last day of classes

Here I am working. It's not too late.
The water is boiling.
Tea is nearly made.

My homework is dull. Can't focus at all.
My frustration is booming.
My stomach is all gall.

The baby is crying.
His diaper is full.
and I'm sitting here typing

with no luck at all.
Can't somebody help me
with an line or two

on how bloom and gardner
fit into this all?

So far....so good?

We are two weeks into November and the business has surprised me. The next three weeks of school will be even more busy. I have major assignments that are due, lessons to plan and a lot of reflecting.

It is not so much that these assignments are long and difficult, but that the material and content is new for me. As a student in the Faculty of Arts, I had the choice. I had an array of classes and topics to choose from. I moulded my degree to what I wanted it to be. So, I became an English Major who minored in Religious Studies with a concentration in Creative Writing.

Now that I am an Education student, things are a bit different. My classes are picked out for me. My semester is arranged into tidy little classes with an internship here, some field work there, an entire practicum semester over there. My choice is gone and, although it irritates me somewhat, I also enjoy the structure.

My first semester as an education student has been thus far, at least for me as an after-degree student, about learning the education lingo. For example: outcomes and indicators, inquiry learning, classroom management, targets, assessment and evaluation, lesson planning, adaptive dimension, multiple intelligences and blooms taxonomy.  Now, after learning only some of the terminology I have a better idea of what this is about but I still have nagging questions, lingering questions and, worse, doubts about myself as a future teacher.

Can I really do this?

I must admit, I was terrified walking into my field placement that first day back in October. I took the bus to Glen Elm school in the east end, walked a block over with each step bringing me closer to these real students and teachers that I've never met before. It would no longer be theory. It would no longer be something I read about and planned for. I wanted to turn around. But, instead, I walked in to that school, found the staff room and my co-operating teacher and went on with the rest of my day.

It wasn't so bad. In fact, so far, so good.

On the Beth Jacob Tour for EREL 300

My trip to the Synagogue was a very edifying experience. First, it is a Conservative Egalitarian synagogue-it is not Orthodox. That means you won't see the black garments that ultra-orthodox Jews will wear and there is no separation between men and women (except, of course, for the bathrooms). The building itself is a renovated school with learning areas, two kosher kitchens, a small shop where one can purchase menoras, skull caps, wine, prayer shawls and mezuzahs, walls adorned with framed art and even walls that are visually and spatially dedicated to deceased members of their Jewish community. The sense of community that I felt from just visiting there was quite profound.

It is one thing to learn about another religion; and it is an entirely different thing to see it for yourself. The synagogue at Beth Jacob is architecturally similar to the original temple that was destroyed in 70 AD. The Torah scrolls they have are over 100 years old. We were allowed to look at a section from Genesis...dark brown wooden scrolls with parchment paper, Hebrew lettering handwritten with black ink by a learned Rabbinical Scribe, smudges from the oils left behind by many fingertips over time. All this, I know, is only a small inkling of the sense of history and community that they cherish so much. I have such a deep respect for the Jewish people, their sense of community and their history-and it is a respect I hope to view more closely by one day visiting Israel.

May God bless me with that opportunity someday.

Coffee & Homework

There is a chill to the air in my town home this morning.

It's not quite cold enough to turn on the heat.

I've made a pot of coffee,

listened to the gurgling of the machine,

the drips of dark liquid filling the glass carafe,

the silence when the pot is filled,

and think of hand-written notes

jotted down on lined paper

while listening to professors lecture on our dreams

in the silence of student-filled classrooms.

A New Thing

This fall I started the first semester of a two year after-degree program in Education. I consider this the start of a new thing and I welcome it with open arms. Two years, after all, isn't that long. I've had three children and have been pregnant for a combined total of 27 months. If I can endure that, I can surely make it through the next two years of life as an Education student.

And, so, I will start filling the pages of my blog again--this time with renewed purpose and vision. I plan to chronicle my journey towards becoming a teacher. It will be the story of me. I will strive to be brutally honest in this story, no matter how hard it is to be so. Why? Because, I think, if I can at least know my truth, won't that set me free?

Things Life Taught Me!

When I was in Grade 12 and ready to graduate, I was given some bad news. I was told that because I needed to take two summer classes to complete my requirements, I would not be allowed to graduate with my classmates. I went home and cried at the loss of my graduation experience.

Years have passed since then. I've been married, I've had children and I went to university.

Now, as an adult, I have had another major decision to make. After completing all my requirements for graduation, I was expecting to convocate on June 7th 2012. Life, however, took me another way.

Surprise, I'm pregnant! (It was the hidden inspiration for one of my previous blogs "The Mind is the Womb.") I am due on July 1st. I figured, at first, that I could make it to convocation and take the walk with others from my faculty. However, the last  couple months were quite physically tough on me and, so, a few weeks ago I made the decision (not without tears) to willingly cancel my participation in June's convocation ceremony.

This is where I've learned a few things. While at first I had felt that I missed out on not one but two major life events, I've realized that there is something special in these circumstances. What is life teaching me?

To be humble?  Do I really need a graduation ceremony to prove my worth, to prove that I "did it"? I know that I've accomplished things. I've earned my degree. But that's not the most important thing in my life.

My children, my husband, the people I love ~ these are the most important things in my life. And especially the new life that is growing within me, waiting to be born.

I ask myself, what do I want to do with my life? I've always known that I want to write and even though things have turned out a bit differently than I imagined, I can still write.

I can write in the stillness of my life,
                  in the wreckage, in the leftovers, in the beauty, in everything and in every way.