Writing badly

Inspired by my classmate Jessie's link to "writing uninspirations," I've decided to come up with some of my own writing uninspirations:

1. The sun rose up into the sky as though it were climbing a ladder of clouds.
2. She danced fiercly. The porridge, meanwhile, burned on the stove, also fiercely.
3. Hitherto, I was unaware of any form pressing itself against the lens of my livelihood. That is, until it shattered the glass, turning my exuberance into the pinnacle of my despondancy.
4. Joe walked up the stairs in silence, the betrayal of his lovesick heart beating in rhythm with each ascending step he took.
5. Like a metaphorical knife in my back symbolizes betrayal, the real knife in my back also symbolizes betrayal.

Well, there you go. Jessie's link reminded me of various literary contests to write the worst sentence. They are often called "Bad Writing Contests" and "Worst Sentence Contests." I've searched and found a link here:

                                                http://www.bulwer-lytton.com/2009.htm

Happy writing!