A couple years ago a professor (English 212) had asked me to read a poem written by a First Nation's person. The only problem is she asked me to read it by saying, in front of the whole class, "...because of your beautiful Indian accent."
A lot of classmates told me how shocked they were. I didn't think I had that much of an "Indian accent."
Just this semester, however, a fellow student in a different class asked me if I was "native." She wondered if I was native because of my accent, apparently, and not because of my appearance.
Not that I feel ashamed, but I do feel shy about it.
I don't have an eloquent speaking voice. Which is why I write. It's the voice I wish I had.
Writing puts me into context. Writing delivers me from the stereotypes I feel that I sometimes receive from my appearance and my voice.
Yes, writing, for me, is deliverance.
It's repentance, its penance, its forgiveness and reconciliation, all mixed up together. Its the destination and the journey, the desire and the fulfillment of desire, the mourning and the celebration.
Sometimes I wish that I could get rid of my french accent (when I am in an english context like university). Sometimes you just went to blend in the group and not let anyone know that you have a different background. A lot of people, however, have told me that I should be proud of my accent. I know that they are right but I also know that occasionally it is exhausting to be proud.
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