When I was in Grade 12 and ready to graduate, I was given some bad news. I was told that because I needed to take two summer classes to complete my requirements, I would not be allowed to graduate with my classmates. I went home and cried at the loss of my graduation experience.
Years have passed since then. I've been married, I've had children and I went to university.
Now, as an adult, I have had another major decision to make. After completing all my requirements for graduation, I was expecting to convocate on June 7th 2012. Life, however, took me another way.
Surprise, I'm pregnant! (It was the hidden inspiration for one of my previous blogs "The Mind is the Womb.") I am due on July 1st. I figured, at first, that I could make it to convocation and take the walk with others from my faculty. However, the last couple months were quite physically tough on me and, so, a few weeks ago I made the decision (not without tears) to willingly cancel my participation in June's convocation ceremony.
This is where I've learned a few things. While at first I had felt that I missed out on not one but two major life events, I've realized that there is something special in these circumstances. What is life teaching me?
To be humble? Do I really need a graduation ceremony to prove my worth, to prove that I "did it"? I know that I've accomplished things. I've earned my degree. But that's not the most important thing in my life.
My children, my husband, the people I love ~ these are the most important things in my life. And especially the new life that is growing within me, waiting to be born.
I ask myself, what do I want to do with my life? I've always known that I want to write and even though things have turned out a bit differently than I imagined, I can still write.
I can write in the stillness of my life,
in the wreckage, in the leftovers, in the beauty, in everything and in every way.
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